You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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