Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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