I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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