I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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