I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
