Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
