We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
