Pregnant stripper...not hot.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
