tell your sister to shave her snatch
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
