Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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