I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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