How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
