People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
it's like heaven, but drunker
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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