She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
