Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
