you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
17 year olds will be the death of me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
