The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Randomize
