Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Your mouth is God's brothel.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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