I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
