just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Enjoy the penises
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
