Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
