How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
