go do what you do best...puke behind churches
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Well I just put wine in my tea
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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