Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Come share oat with me in your robe
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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