You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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