Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
