Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
