i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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