Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
