i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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