its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
