I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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