Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
