He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
