i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
