you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
