This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My dick has a subreddit
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
