yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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