i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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