Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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