i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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