3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
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