I think scott just propositioned me for sex
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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