Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
