I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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