i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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