One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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