She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
