lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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