His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
