well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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